Good, Better, Best: How to Speak Liberally, Part 2

How else might liberals re-tool their rhetorical game plan and regain control of political playing field?

• How about the anemic economy? We keep hearing it referred to as some sort of amorphous “economic downturn.” Far-right talk-show hosts even suggest it’s President Obama’s doing, as though the recession magically materialized the very moment he took the oath of office. No, this is the direct result of 30 years of trickle-down sneak-o-nomics and deregulation. The “Reagan Republican Recession,” that’s good. Even better, thanks to the (non-budgetary, unpaid-for) Bush/Cheney Invasions of the Middle East, Bush tax cuts and bank bailouts that sealed the deal: “The Bush Recession.” Best, if you’re suffering through it like most of us, “The Bush Damn-Near Depression.”

• And exactly why is nothing being done by our elected representatives to lead us out of the Bush Damn-Near Depression? Corporate media pundits point the finger at a deadlocked Congress, as though it’s merely a matter of partisan bickering. Even President Obama and progressive web sites like USA Action lay the blame on “Congress” in general. So you might say this is a “Do-Nothing Congress.” But in fact, several job-creating bills presented by Democrats have died in the House and/or been filibustered in the Senate by anti-American Republicans who simply want President Obama to fail (and, yes, that was decided by powerful members of the GOP shortly before Obama took the oath). So, perhaps “The Do-Nothing Republican Congress” would be a better description. Still, let’s not forget who bought and paid for the “Tea Party Revolution,” and who continues to bankroll the right-wing oligarchy’s faux-libertarian agenda. Best deadlock description goes to…”The RepubliCorp Job-Killing Congress.”

• But how exactly to accurately portray these greed-mongers who promote a speculation-based international investment economy over labor-based, made-in-USA manufacturing? These plutocratic job-killers couldn’t care less about American jobs or genuine innovation and competition. A good portrayal: they’re the “Un-American Corporate Welfare Socialists.” Better: “The Fascist (hold on now, look up the definition, it fits) Koch Brothers Cabal.” Best, in the spirit of the current election circus: “The Out-Sourcing, Downsizing Romney Robber Barons.”

So, class, next time you’re at the water cooler, a barbeque, or a family reunion, try the Liberal Good-Better-Best approach. Stand up, speak plainly, and tell it like it is. Watch with glee as the brainwashed Fox News heads of your “conservative” friends and relatives simmer to the boiling point prior to exploding. Oh sure, they’ll attempt to recover by unleashing their standard barrage of wildly inaccurate, completely illogical, and patently untrue right-wing talking points. But—who knows?—maybe you will have planted a seed of light deep within the wasted recesses of their dulled senses.

Best of all, you’ll know that you’ve begun to stand up against the tyrannical forces of corporate propaganda. Welcome to the OccuPatriot New American Revolution!

Originally published at Examiner.com.