Loving sociopaths

At my previous job, there was a coworker who was amicable and technically smart. Though he and his wife combined earned over $300K a year, he complained a lot about taxes. He’s a white Christian. He is skeptical about climate change and evolution. He watches Fox News and listens to Rush Limbaugh. He hates Dems and voted for Trump (he said he chose the lesser of two evils).

But, really, he’s (otherwise) a nice guy, with a self-deprecating sense of humor, and quite smart. I liked him, he liked me, and we enjoyed chatting. In our discussions, I told him that a pro-life Christian should be in favor of medical care for all — at least, surely, medical care for children, elderly, and poor people. He reluctantly agreed that basic medical care should be guaranteed. He told this to his (Chinese) wife, who is even more conservative than he is.

He kept trying to convert me to Christianity, to no avail.

After I left that job, he tried to reach out to me. But I rebuffed his efforts, even though I like him, because I am repulsed by his political views. After all, he voted for politicians who lie frequently and promote destructive policies: giving even more money to the rich and the Pentagon; deregulating Wall Street; gutting the EPA and other regulatory agencies; under-funding the IRS so tax cheats aren’t audited; making it harder for minorities and poor people to vote; separating parents and children at the border; allowing billionaires to buy elections and set policy; denying climate science; favoring corporations over unions; making it easy to buy military-style guns and ammunition; etc, etc.

Are the GOP politicians he supports sociopaths? I think many of them are.  Some of them probably regret being forced to support radical positions; this is probably why many Republicans are quitting.

Does my friend’s support for these politicians make him a sociopath too  — “a sociopath-by-proxy”?  I’m not sure.

With this story in mind, I can now explain the three interpretations for the title of this essay.

    1. Some people, such as my Republican coworker, vote for sociopaths.  They love sociopaths.
    2. Some sociopaths, such as my coworker, are kind, loving people even though they are sociopaths-by-proxy. They are loving sociopaths.
    3. In America today, it often happens that a dear friend, coworker, or family member votes Republican and we find ourselves loving a sociopath-by-proxy.

In fairness to my coworker and to other Republicans, many Trump voters disliked Trump and voted for him only because they thought Hillary was even worse.    Still, Trump was so obviously corrupt, stupid, racist, crude, dishonest, and misogynistic.   Though I disliked Hillary’s hawkishness and her friendliness to Wall Street, she was clearly more qualified, more honest, and less destructive than Trump.  The email scandal which Trump and others made such a big deal about was minor compared to all the scandals involving Trump.  How is it possible for an intelligent, decent person to vote for Trump over Hillary?

I know a progressive woman who became estranged from her sister because the sister joined the NRA in response to the Parkland shooting and the protests that followed from it.

The country is so deeply divided.

It’s hard to believe that all Republican voters are sociopaths.  I rather believe they’ve been brainwashed, by Fox News, AM talk radio, Breitbart News, and other conservative media.

I can forgive uneducated, poorly informed people for voting for Trump and other Republicans. I cannot forgive my friend, who is too smart to fall for their lies and distortions.

I fear for the future. I won’t be surprised if the Republicans do well in the midterms or if Trump wins re-election in 2020. Trump said, “I could stand in the middle Of Fifth Avenue And shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters.” Not quite true, but about 42% of Americans support him still, and his support has been increasing. It boggles the mind.

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