Category: Humor

Like Xbox One and PlayStation 4, the rollout of Obamacare may be “full of glitches, but I can’t wait to get it,” says comedian, voice-over artist and progressive political pundit Hal Sparks. Sparks will be appearing with Stephanie Miller, John Fugelsang, and “guest panelist” Seattle’s own lampooner laureate Dan Savage, Saturday, December 14, at 8:00pm in the Paramount Theatre.

For those who whine about the debut of the Affordable Healthcare Act’s national website, Sparks likes to point out that private industry didn’t do much better with those two video game blockbusters.

That’s the overall problem with Republican blathering about deregulation and the “free market” system, according to Sparks. People like Sen. Rand Paul keep insisting that the “free market” would make everything better. “But how,” Sparks wonders, “Why would they bother (cleaning up the environment) if they weren’t told to?” Short-term profit and long-term public good are incompatible, according to the core mission of a corporation, which is to make as much money as possible in the shortest possible time for their shareholders. Folks like Rand Paul basically “want corporations to be able to poison us and get away with it!”

Which is why Sparks sees Rand Paul as “stunningly, overtly, and powerfully full of (well, excrement).”

Hal holds roughly the same opinion of other right-wing Republicans like former vice presidential candidate and big-government opponent Paul Ryan. “Paul Ryan went to school on government funds,” notes Sparks, “and then got a government job.” Such blatant hypocrisy runs rampant in the Republican Party.

Conservatives seem to revere two books, Atlas Shrugged and the Bible. One raises selfishness to a high art form, while the other preaches a gospel of love and compassion. Likewise, conservatives seem to worship two gods, Ayn Rand and Jesus of Nazareth. One referred to religious thinking as “mentally retarded,” the other urged his followers to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”

“Atlas Shrugged and the Bible are mutually exclusive,” suggests Sparks, “unless you’re a sociopath.” Not to mention that before she died Ayn Rand relied on Social Security payments from the very government she so despised.

Sparks, himself a self-made man of many voices, holds entrepreneurship in high regard. “Self-reliance is great,” he says, “but you don’t need to choke off the poor and kick people when they’re down.”

What does Hal Sparks see in America’s political future? That’s coming up next in the Seattle Liberal blog. Stay tuned.

And don’t forget to catch the outrageously irreverent “Sexy Liberal” show, December 14!